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A Cool Rant from me trying to brainstorm for a class assignment of mine

New age weaponry

  • The features that the human body needs to survive in many ways differ from what was needed 1000’s of years ago
  • Our hypothalamus (through fight or flight) once being our surviving brain component has now been replaced by the left side of the frontal lobe
  • We know need only the cerebral cortex to decipher complex scientific terms used to create wide varieties of food
  • The man who survived once was one who knew what a lion was and bear was, their particular strengths, weaknesses and how to best take it down
  • Nowadays that skill is virtually useless, and it is the person who knows how many calories to consume, and what Fructose Corn Syrup and Preservatives are and how it interacts with one’s body that is our weapon of survival
  • We once stayed in shape by just going about our day to day daily needs
  • Now where have to go to expensive gyms with complex equipment which often, in essence, forces the body to continue moving through a full movement in which probably once kept our level of physical health most optimum
  • We once had our imaginations to trigger how to escape dangerous situations in environments, now we have high cases of just generalized anxiety and take Klonopin to respond to it
  • Bed times stories, have changed to t.v. shows. Working to survive, has changed to working so that, if needed, one could spend as little time with anyone else as they wanted or “needed”
  • Bar hopping has changed to internet dating sites
  • And with the collective, individual desire to live as autonomous as possible, we have recreated our needs once satiated by collective into pocket sized technologies that require the individual as minimal of an emotional, physical or social exertion of energy has possible
  • Internet pornography compensating for the male need to have intercourse on a frequent basis; 1000’s of movie channels to compensate for the 10’s or 100’s of things one could find out in the world. Like going to sport games? Turn to channel 5? Like observing social interactions among people? Lifetime, channel 35? Need to have a good time with some friends? TBS, Too Funny, has reruns of Friends, Family Guy and various Madea shows where you can sit back and enjoy the fun that they group is having in 30 second intervals. With a laughing stage audience. Who even boo’s when occasionally when the bad guy doesn’t something wrong, whistles when the regularly dressed girl enters in with new hot dress on. They even cheer and applaud when the character who has been spending the past 7 episodes trying to figure out how to stop his faucet from leaking has a eureka moment and the dripping finally ceases! But wait, not so fast, before the ending theme music enters, see that the leak returns. Darn, guess you got to watch the next episode now. Want to hear some good music? No need to step outside and attend a concert, MTV is right at you’re fingertips. Wait, MTV doesn’t show music videos anymore. Maybe try VH1, or MTV 4. No, but I know what you really need. It’s that good old taste of reality. Look no further, MTV has Reality Shows that can keep you enjoying for days. Like to read a book?, see a play? Maybe go to the movies? No need, we have 20 different channels just for that. TMC, for the classics, Comedy Central to watch almost contemporary comedy hits, and various other stations to show remakes of books, like the X-men series, Lord of the Rings or even Twilight for the more young and hip.
  • But maybe you have questions about something, historical, contemporary, health related? Surely you might need to talk to someone for this process to be satiated. But wait, you have the invention of Google search, Wikipedia, and of course you must never forget about Bing. Need a friend to double check the validity of the article? Comment section at the bottom, with like comments next to that.
  • VH1 reruns to many of the same songs? You have to creative of interest to be satisfied by their selection? Not to worry. You have Pandora, where you can create your own radio stations, Spotify where you can create your own rotating playlists and Youtube if you want to search for something specific and watch the video or a user edited videos to it. As matter of fact, want to watch that short clip on Hangover when the guy wakes up with the Tyson tat? Youtube. Want to learn how to fix your bike? Youtube. Want to learn Yoga? Youtube. Want to see some random daily acts, or the fat sister falling off the chair? Youtube. Want to see a professional discussion with experts that spotlights the problem of people making fun of people who are overweight. It was a pretty good panel discussion, but what the heck, just click the dislike button just because nobody else probably will. Dang 5 other people already beat you too it. That’s ok, you can be one of the first 10.
  • Wait a second?? Youtube seems to have everything? Like the Walmart of online websites. What’s their story? Check it out on Google, Wikipedia, and maybe even at some point, the History Channel, at a point when they are dissatisfied with the current ratings and are looking of a new topic to overview that will catch people off guard and attract new age demographics.
  • Wanna travel to catch up with an old friend? Facebook? Want to know what someone’s up to? Twitter. Have someone on your mind and just wanna stop by and say high to them? Text.  Need to see their faces? Skype.
  • Want to create a song with a band? Garageband.  Forgot the name of that song? Shazzam! Cold? No need for another human. We have heaters. Need to buy some new clothes? Macy’s.com has a broad list of clothing lines for men, women and children. They will have a person deliver it to your house in 5 to 7 days. Don’t like the purchase? Money back guarantee! Just mail back in the product. 24 hour call center available to answer any questions. Wanna play video games with someone? Fight up to 25 different CPU’s at one time! Need a massage? Don’t ask a friend. There’s a massage center right down the street. Too far? Vibrating pillows. Heat packs. Memory foam pillows.
  • Sex with no consequences? You got the pill. Not to mention, the vaginal ring, diaphragm, iud, patch. And don’t forget about the good ol fashioned condom.
  • Tired of the super-dependence on technology? It effecting you emotionally maybe? Suck it up, better yet, drug it up. Pain killers, valiums, antidepressants. Pick your favorite, like a candy bar, or tv channel.

And throughout it all, throughout the large shift in human society and how it culturally behaves, what has remained the same is the humans’ most important need and skill, the ability to adapt. To adapt to the given environment and make the most  out of it…no really, the most.


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